In This ArticleView AllIn This ArticleDon’t CompareDon’t Eliminate FoodsBelieve in YourselfChange It UpInvest in YourselfReward YourselfGive Yourself GraceDrink WaterPositive Self-TalkMake It a Lifestyle
In This ArticleView All
View All
In This Article
Don’t Compare
Don’t Eliminate Foods
Believe in Yourself
Change It Up
Invest in Yourself
Reward Yourself
Give Yourself Grace
Drink Water
Positive Self-Talk
Make It a Lifestyle
From a young age growing up in the Connecticut suburbs, the number on the scale ebbed and flowed as my relationship with sport did as well. At age 14, I was a soccer whiz, running laps up and down the field feeling confident and great. Come 17, I didn’t make the junior varsity volleyball team because I couldn’t run a sub-10:00 mile, and my interests became a lot less active.
This carried on to college, and like many, I gained the freshman 15—or perhaps the freshman 30 would be more accurate. In the spring of 2007, I was procrastinating studying for a final exam when I decided to step onto a dusty scale I had tucked under my bunk bed. After what felt like an eternity, waiting for the screen to populate, the number that glared back at me from the floor took my breath away. I was forced to come to terms with a harsh reality: I had to change.
While I believe that people can find health at different sizes, I was definitely not healthy or more importantly, happy. I knew that making changes wouldn’t be easy, but even so, I was ready to start.
Emily Abbate
Over the next three years, I lost 70 pounds through making healthier eating choices andlearning to love running. Today, movement is my medicine, enabling me to better show up both personally and professionally. Now a nine-time marathoner, certified personal trainer and run coach, and wellness coach with my own podcast, I’ve learned a handful of lessons along my journey that empower me to give back to others and help them determine what wellness looks like for them.
Here’s what I learned during my personal transformation, plus some insight into why I feel like a forever work in progress.
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1. You’ve Got to Meet Yourself Where You’re At
Especiallyin the age of social media, it’s easy to compare yourself to others.Yourjourney is just that—yours. Instead of being made to feel like you’re not good enough based on what you see someone else doing, focus on where you are and progress from there. This is important in all aspects of wellness, whether it’s trying out a new strength training routine or shifting your eating habits. Just because you can’t do a difficult movement like a dumbbell snatch, for example, doesn’t mean you won’t get there one day. Show yourself some compassion and embrace honesty, and the rest will come with time.
2. Never Eliminate Anything Completely
Many popular diets advertise cutting things out—at least in small portions—likecomplex carbsor sugar. When we eliminate things from our diet, it’s almost guaranteed that we will crave them more.
In my experience, I’d binge on the very thing I told myself I couldn’t have—and there is research to back this up, including a 2023 study inFrontiers in Psychology. Instead of eliminating things from your life, the practice of moderation and portion control along withpaying attention to your body’s hunger and fullness cuesare much safer alternatives. It’s a practice that truly helped me along my journey.
For example, rather than nixing my college’s famous banana chocolate chip ice cream completely, I let myself have a scoop on Fridays. When it came to indulging in Grandma’s Sunday sauce, I made sure to also serve myself a hearty helping of salad in addition to the oh-so-good pasta bowl. By embracing the foods that made me happy in smart amounts, I was able to enjoy the process without feeling like I was missing out.
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3. You Can Do Anything You Set Your Mind To
I really, really wanted to love running. But in the earliest stages, I felt as though I would never. I felt as though because I wasn’t “good” at it (see the high school volleyball reference above), it would never be for me.
Toward the beginning of my personal weight-loss efforts, I worked at a summer camp, without access to a typical big box gym. This encouraged me to give running another hard try, as it was one of the few ways I could get active and really break a sweat without any equipment.
The first week of running was awful. I did it for about 15 minutes per day and ran the exact same route every single time. However, after a week of sticking it out, I slowly got to a place where I realized that it was nowhere as bad as I had been making it out to be. With time, the enjoyment grew. I didn’t have to be the best runner. I just had to beme—running. This realization empowered me to try and stick with other things that felt hard in the past.
4. Your Get-Moving Options Are Endless
I went through phases over my three-year journey dabbling in a slew of different fitness modalities. I’ve done it all, from barre and Spin class to dance cardio and even CrossFit. Some of these love affairs lasted longer than others, but what I most enjoyed about the process was that I had the opportunity to mix up my routine as often as I liked. There was no reason to stick with something that didn’t bring me joy or light me up. By diversifying my go-to sweat method, I had a lot more fun and even made some great friends along the way. Plus, research published in 2020 inTranslational Behavioral Medicinehas shown that adding variety to an exercise program can increase your physical activity.
5. Invest in Your Own Personal Wellness
During the summer of 15-minute runs, I lived in Hanes white v-neck T-shirts and cotton leggings from Target. Over time, I began to realize that if I wanted to perform better and feel more comfortable, I needed to invest a little bit more in my workout wardrobe. The good news is there are tons of great options out there, from Old Navy to Champion, that have technical gear at lower price points. Rather than buy six-packs of T-shirts every month, I started to accrue a collection of gear that lasted the washing machine test—and also made me feel more confident when the workout began.
6. Reward Yourself for the Small Wins
When I started my weight-loss journey, I didn’t set out and say “I want to lose 70 pounds.” Rather, I set SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound) goals that helped me go in the right direction. For instance, a goal like “I want to drink three bottles of water every day before 6 p.m.”
If I made it through two weeks of this goal, I would take some time tocelebrate the positive progress, whether that be with a trip to the local mall or simply setting aside some “me” time to take an extra long walk come the weekend. When the journey is long, the small wins are what keep your tank fueled up and help you stay motivated for more.
7. You Will Not Be Perfect
How many times have you told yourself “OK, today I’m going to have a good day of eating,” and then a few bites of a chocolate bar later, you feel as though you’ve completely blown it? Listen, we’ve all been there.
Here’s the thing: That all-or-nothing mentality isn’t going to do you any good. Have some grace with yourself and know that from time to time, things aren’t going to go as planned. Rather than get angry and throw your hands up in the air, be proud of yourself for prioritizing your wellness in the first place. Every single second, you have an opportunity to start with a clean slate.
8. Water Really Is Your BFF
I’ve never been “good” at drinking water. I don’t particularly love the taste of it (which sounds weird, perhaps) and making sure to get enough felt like a total struggle. Alas,H20 accounts for 60% of our body—or about 11 gallons or 92 pounds inside a 155-pound person—and is essential to every cell.
When I made getting healthier a priority, I started downing at least six glasses each day. With that,I started to notice a real difference. I felt better, my skin looked better, and I performed well when it came to my regular workouts. I also started staving off that ever-annoying headache that likely was a result of previous dehydration.
9. The Mental Transformation Is Just as Important as the Physical
Honestly, I’m still working on my inner dialogue and being kinder to myself. When a big transformation happens on the outside, it’s important to take the time to really think about who it is that you are, what’s important to you and who you want to be going forward.
As a self-proclaimed forever work in progress, I find that regular journaling and making time to reflect on my feelings helps me stay grounded. I’ll never forget about the teenage girl who had trouble finding jeans that fit at her local mall. But I know, now, that she’s not who I am anymore.
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10. If You Want Lasting, Permanent Change—It’s About Your Lifestyle
This is something I can’t stress enough. No amount of exercise will help you against an unhealthy diet. But diet and exercise aren’t the only things that influence weight and health. Sleep and stress do, too. Making sure you’regetting plenty of quality sleepanddealing with your stressorsmakes weight loss and maintenance easier—and helps you keep a level head when it comes to the occasional not-so-healthy meal or streak of exercise-free days (and those can be important, too!). We want to focus on lasting change and better health for years to come.
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